


The Science of Magic

by PleasantTrouble (MRiddleSquared)



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types, Skulduggery Pleasant - Derek Landy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-06-22
Updated: 2013-06-22
Packaged: 2021-03-10 07:49:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,051
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27589795
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MRiddleSquared/pseuds/PleasantTrouble
Summary: Skulduggery and Valkyrie are thrown to Amestris... and meet a few people from Skulduggery's past. This could be interesting.
Kudos: 2





	1. The Gate

The tall, skinny man stood under the tree, avoiding the majority of the rain. He could have just manipulated the water around himself but didn't bother. The rain that did penetrate through the foliage landed on his hat, a black so deep it could barely be distinguished from the surrounding darkness. The sound of his phone broken the deafening silence. Dipping a bony hand into his pocket he brought out a phone and flipped it open.

"Hello," he greeted the caller in his usually velvety voice.

"Hey, Skul-man, you need to get to my place now. Bring that girl with you. I'll explain when you get here." was all that was said before the phone was disconnected.

Finbar's regular tone of voice had been replaced by one of panic. The only times that Skulduggery had heard him sound like that had been during end of world scenarios. End of the world scenarios weren't surprising to him, but still, he never looked forward to them. He slipped the phone back into his pocket and walked to his car, a 1954 Bentley Continental r-type, one of only 208 ever made, he would tell this to anyone who asked.

Before getting in he manipulated the water of his coat and away from him, to avoid ruining the inside of his precious vehicle. The drive to Haggard was eventless, though he that would end when he got to his destination.

He parked the car around the block and walked back to her house, manipulating the air to keep the rain off this time, then manipulating it to raise him to the roof of her house. He was quite thankful to the darkness for hiding him. He leaned over the edge and gently rapped his knuckles on the glass of her window. The sixteen years old girl looked up from her desk, and if it had been a few years earlier she would have screamed. Seeing a living skeleton hanging outside your window could be considered scary by some. After seeing him almost daily for three years, she just grinned when she saw her partner. She got up and walked over to open the window. When the window was open he didn't enter, though. He just sat on her roof not moving.

"Skulduggery? Are you just going to sit out there and get soaked or come in and talk?" there was no response. Skulduggery hadn't moved the slightest bit. She turned to see what he was looking but saw nothing. Turning back she saw Skulduggery almost shaking in fear. Her entire vision turned a blinding white. In this new world there was herself, Skulduggery, a huge set of double doors, and a grinning shadow. It was on the shadow that Skulduggery's eyes were locked.

"It seems we meet again Mr. Al-che-mi-st."

"Truth, you know I can't have opened the gate because you have taken it from me, and there are none in this world, so what are we doing here?" Skulduggery said, rising to his feet from the crouching position he had been in on Valkyrie's roof.

"No, but someone else did. Anyway I am sending you back, and since someone else opened the gate to move you I must give you back this." the thing, Truth, said as another set of doors appeared to their left. This set was elaborately carved with what looked like thousands of elaborate circles with varying designs.

With the appearance of the gate, Skulduggery shuddered from the return of the science to him. "Know that I have that back, I wish for two facts that should be included in the deal. Who opens the gate to retrieve Valkyrie and me and where are we going?"

"Both of those questions will be answered upon your arrival, and coincidently, your return. I do believe, however, that she requires some knowledge before you go." Truth said, acknowledging Valkyrie's presence.

The gate behind Truth opened and thousands of black hands reached for her, pulling her toward it. "And don't worry about a toll, this is of no charge to either of you." Once she was inside the gate closed and her head was filled with so much information it could burst, though all the info was about her past and of her family history, nothing that could be of any importance. Eventually, all the info caused her to pass out.

When she awoke she was lying on a cold stone. Looking up she saw that she was surrounded by a large group of gun-holding people dressed in blue army uniforms. All the guns were pointed at her on the ground.

"Hell, not this again," she muttered.


	2. Reunions

Waking up surrounded by people with guns is never good, but when you don't know where you are, it's even worse. She looked around for Skulduggery and she saw an unconscious teen lying next to her wearing Skulduggery's suit and hat. His hair was almost gold in color and if he opened his eyes she would have expected them to be a cobalt blue. She looked back to the people around her and raised her arms in a sign of surrender. All the guns were lowered and some were put away. A blond woman walked forward and crouched down in front of Valkyrie and looked her over for weapons. When none were visible she spoke, "Who are you and who is your companion?"

There was a rustle of fabric and both looked over to see the boy in Skulduggery's clothes get up. His eyes weren't blue, as Valkyrie expected, but a molten gold, the same color as his hair. The woman seemed taken aback at the person and most of the men around them stood at attention and saluted. The woman in front of them rose and ran to the building they were in front of. The boy walked over to Valkyrie and helped her up. "Valkyrie, are you okay? What did truth show you? Did he take anything from you?" the voice was unmistakably that of her partner but it didn't have the usual glide, it was as if he was really worried about her.

"I'm fine Skulduggery. That is you right? What happened?"

"Yes it's me, and Truth gave me back my body back along with another branch of magic I lost a long time ago."

"Why are they all saluting you?"

"What?" and then he noticed the small troop of people around them with guns, all saluting him. Just then the crowd parted and the blond woman returned with a tall dark-haired man and another teen with gold hair, but his eyes were a silver instead of the gold of Skulduggery's. Skulduggery looked as if he had seen a ghost, or the family that was killed by Serpine all those years ago. Skulduggery stepped forward but then sank into a stance, as if he were planing to fight. At seeing this Valkyrie did so as well.

"Niisan?" The boy with the silver eyes ran forward but was stopped by the blond woman. "No, Al, we can't sure he's not Envy in disguise." the dark-haired man said.

At the mention of the boy's name, Skulduggery straightened from the fighting position to stand at his full height of six feet. The man looked surprised at skulduggery's height and then promptly passed out against the woman. Skulduggery raised an eyebrow and smiled at the scene. And then the smile faltered, and he almost passed out al well. He had just realized where he was. He was back home. He was back in Amestris. He was in central. Valkyrie went over to him and helped him stay up. "You okay?" she asked, surprised by Skulduggery's reaction.

"Yes, thank you," he said a little shakily. He then called over to the three, well the two who were still standing. "Lieutenant Hawkeye? Is that you, and the Colonel?" with this he began to walk toward her. The whole troop raised their guns at him, stopping his approach.

The blond visibly jumped at the sound of her name and turned toward Skulduggery and Val. She gave the unconscious colonel to the boy and walked toward the two motioning for the battalion to lower their guns. All did and she removed a small handgun from her side holster. "Would you please remove your jacket and shirt. I need to check something" she said pointing the gun at him. Not menacingly but in a way of warning.

Skulduggery seemed to know what she wanted and began to unbutton the jacket of his suit. After removing it he gave it to Valkyrie, which she held without argument as if knowing how important this was. Also, there was the fact that she was wondering what was going on. He then removed the white shirt he was wearing to reveal a toned chest and abs and a multitude of scars. What everyone stared at though was his right arm. Or at least what used to be his arm. Instead, there was a mechanical arm, gleaming in the light. Hawkeye put her gun away and hugged him. Both Skulduggery and Val were surprised by this. Skulduggery recovered first and hugged her back quickly, then extracted himself from the embrace and walked toward the silver-eyed boy from earlier. "Alphonse, how long have I been gone?" Skulduggery asked when he reached the boy's side.

"Three years, Niisan." the boy said, starting to cry. He grabbing on to Skulduggery like he would disappear, fearing he would.


	3. Introductions

The two blondes stood together hugging, one bawling his eyes out, the other looking relieved and happy. Skulduggery tried to cheer the other blonde up, but only managed to make him cry harder. After another five minutes of this Al finally managed to calm down enough to talk again. "N-niisan, where have you been, after the fight with father and my body was returned I was told you disappeared. We all thought you were dead."

Through these episodes, Valkyrie is just standing there looking confused and a little left out. "Skulduggery, um, since you seem to know everyone, could you, possibly, introduce them?" Valkyrie said a little uncomfortably.

Everyone turned in surprise, seeming to have forgotten about her. " Ah, yes, great idea Val. If we can wake Colonel Bastard here, then everyone will introduce themselves and we could tell our story to them."

"I'm already awake, shortie. And I really would have thought you would be mature by now." Skulduggery bristled and slipped back into fighting position.

"Sir," Hawkeye broke in "you really shouldn't greet him with that. You were nearly as frantic as Al in searching for Edward. Ed, calm down, he didn't mean it, he just doesn't know how to deal with reunions."

"Fine, and Colonel, how about a spar after the explanations are complete?"

"Sounds good, FullMetal," The colonel said, smiling for the first time.

"Excellent," Skulduggery replied, smiling as well.

"Um, Skulduggery, did you forget about introductions?" Valkyrie broke in finally.

"Oh, yes, quite right. Let's start with myself." Skulduggery said, "My name is Edward Elric, the FullMetal Alchemist, hero of the people. If you wish you could continue calling me Skulduggery or you could call me Ed, as most do." he finished tipping his hat to her.

This took her aback, she had stumbled across the name in a few cases, never paying it much notice. Then she introduced herself to the surrounding people "I am Stephanie Edgley, Miss Valkyrie Cain, killler of gods, Decedent of the first Mages, detective partner to the great skeleton detective, Skulduggery Pleasant." She said, giving a little bow to the crowd around her.

Everyone gasped, except Ed and Val. Val looked confused "what did I say?" she asked Ed.

"It was the 'Killer of gods' bit I think. The only person they know to do that is standing before. But," he said turning to the group around them "those who managed to kill a homunculus, please come here." Four people walk toward him; Hawkeye, the blond woman from before, the dark-haired Colonel, a buff man with a curl of blond hair on his head, and the other blonde boy from earlier. "Val, these four have killed immortal beings who were pretty damn close to being gods. The buff one here is the Strong Arm Alchemist, Major Alex Armstrong." for some reason his shirt fell away at that moment and he started flexing. Ignoring this Ed continued, "This, "he said gesturing to the blonde woman, "is First Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye, the best shot in central. This is Colonel Bastard, the Flame Alchemist, call him Mustang unless you want to be barbequed." Ed said, referring to the dark-haired man next to Riza. "He is the reason I have no respect for the higher-ups. Actually, Mustang, instead of me you should spar with her, it might be good for you. Val, think you can beat him?"

"Him, sure, he doesn't look too bad. Can I fight Armstrong while I'm at it too?"

"That good with you two," he asked Mustang and Armstrong. They both looked hesitant at fighting a girl, but nodded none the less. "Excellent, after that you could try against Olivier." Everyone visible paled. Not seeming to notice he introduced the final person, "This handsome fellow here, is my little brother. Al, would you like to introduce yourself, or shall I."

"I will, nii-san. Miss Cain, I am Alphonse Elric, the Armored Alchemist, Brother to the FullMetal Alchemist and constantly mistaken for him, or at least was until he disappeared."

"Al, I still haven't trusted her with that info. I will eventually, but not now. Now is not the time.

"Yes, nii-san, of course," Al said with a bow. "Though I will tell her the story later. And perhaps show some old pictures of us."

"Ed, why didn't you trust me with the info that you were from here?"

"You would have thought me crazy. Also, how long did it take you to admit yours?" he asked hypothetically.

"Entirely not the point, and who's is worse, yours or mine."

"Both." was all that was said.

"Okay, then. Fine. Anyone else to introduce, Skul?"

"Would you just choose a name to call me? It's kind of irritating when you switch between the two." Skulduggery whined, like the teen he was seen as.

"Fine, Ed, anyone to introduce."

Three more people walked towards them. One was older than the other two. All had dark hair. The older man was maybe thirty at the most. He was dressed in the army uniform like most of the others around them. He had two strands of hair that reached down to his yellow eyes. The other man appeared slightly more oriental with hair covering the left side of his face, with lavender eyes. The third was a young girl with her long hair in a multitude of braids, pulled into two pigtails.

"Edward, long time no see, eh?" said the short-haired man, stepping forward after the others had stopped advancing.

"Hughes, I thought you were killed by Envy before I left," Ed said hugging the man. "I missed you. How are Elicia and Gracia?"

"We'll catch up later. For now, I believe these other two have requested to talk to you as well." he stepped back the other two stepped forward.

"Mei, thank you for my brother back and for my life," he said, crutching down and pulling her into a tight hug.

"Your welcome, and welcome home, Edward-sama." the young girl replied.

He drew away and stood, turning to the other man, "Ling, are you still stealing food from people. I'm not paying the bill this time." Ed said with a chuckle.

"But that is how royalty keeps their fortunes. Did you know that I am the king of Xing?"

"Emperor Ling Yao. Val, can I threaten to shoot him?"

"It would be more impressive if you actually did, like with Guild," Val said with a laugh.

"Go ahead and try, FullMetal. Let's see how that works." Ling said as a black liquid spread over his skin. Valkyrie was reminded of the torment and immediately settled into a fighting position. It covered his face and huge white teeth were all that could be distinguished, along with his glowing eyes.

"Greed, I thought you were gone with Father. It's good to see you. Actually, that might be a lie, but either way, it's good to see you."

"You too, man," it said in a voice deeper than that of Ling's. It held out a hand out, which Ed shook.

"Introductions, Edward. Or did you forget?" Val said again.

"Yes, of course. This is the Sin, Greed. He is the ultimate shield. Greed, can I shoot you to prove the point?"

"Nice of you to ask permission, but yes, it's been a while since it was tested out." Greed agreed.

Ed whipped out his gun and fired quickly.

They all hit and were deflected. "Thanks, that was a great idea, Ed."

"You're welcome. Next person is Mei. Mei could you come here, please." The young girl stepped forward and Ed crouched down next to her and wrapped her in a one-armed hug. He then looked up at Valkyrie and said "Valkyrie, allow me to introduce one of the princesses of Xing."

"Miss Mei, may I ask your relation to Ling?"

"He is one of my half-brothers," Mei replied.

"One of? How many siblings do you have, if I dare say."

"The previous emperor of Xing had 43 children."

"Wow, okay then," Valkyrie said rising to her feet. "Ed who was the man from before, the one you thought died?"

"Him? Oh right, I forgot to introduce him. Hughes, come back here, and put away those damned photos." the man came back looking kinda sad. "Cheer up, you can show her later, Lieutenant Colonel." Ed then leaned down to Valkyrie's ear "if he tries to show you pictures of his family, don't hesitate to burn them." he whispered, then straightened.

The final person from the threesome walked up and enveloped Ed in another hug. When he managed to extract himself he turned back to Val. "Val, this is Lieutenant Colonel Maes Hughes. He is addicted to his family, and that's putting it mildly."

"Pleasure to meet you, sir," Valkyrie said, extending a hand, which he took. "Ed, why are you respecting him and not Mustang?" she said looking at him.

"Because Mustang is a bastard and Hughes isn't," he replied.

"Still hating your superiors, Ed?" Hughes said, unperturbed.

"Most, not all. He only respects you, it seems. And Miss Hawkeye over there." Valkyrie interrupted.

"Really? Aw, thanks. And as a treat, here's pictures of Elicia for you." Hughes said, holding out a picture to her. She remembered what Ed had told her and snapped her fingers, setting the image alight. Everyone stared. "Well, Colonel, looks like you have competition," someone said.


	4. History part 1

"Yes, he does, and he can see how much of a competition he has later. Now, however, anyone else to be introduced? No? Excellent. Well, I believe there are some fights to arrange, let's start."

"Wait, Nii-san, in equivalence, tell us the story of your side of the gate. Yours and that of Valkyrie."

"Usually, wouldn't that require more info from your side? But since hers and mine are a single story really, then no more is needed. Now, the question is, where to start?"

"How about starting at the beginning when you crossed the gate," Valkyrie suggested, "and informing me as to what the Gate is as well."

"Ah, yes, the Gate is the huge set of doors that you saw behind of truth in that great expanse of white when we crossed. The gate is opened when an alchemist attempts to perform a human transmutation and the transmutation rebounds. The rebound usually costs the alchemist his life, or something that is important to them. I'll explain later with the story of this side."

Valkyrie nodded in understanding and agreement. There were several nods and muttered understanding of the explanation of the Gate.

"After I gave my body and soul to the Truth in return for Al's" Ed nodded toward Al. "I was dropped in Munich, Germany. There I spent several years working with Alphonse Heiderich on rocketry for the government. I was shortly recruited into the army to fight against Mevolant." he then turned away so that the rest of the crowd could hear better since Valkyrie already knew this story, and how horrible it was.

"Before I continue, however, Valkyrie, I believe you are in need of a chair. The last time you heard this you fainted," he said clapping.

"If you wouldn't mind. Also, I was twelve and you were a skeleton. And I would prefer that you didn't clap at the humor."

"That may be true," he retorted, touching his hands to the ground and creating a pair of elaborately carved chairs. "You still feinted though, and I wasn't clapping for you."

Al laughed to himself, but all could hear. "You still haven't lost your touch, nii-san."

She merely stared at him and the chairs.

"Not this again," he mutters "this is really like the first time we met. Your staring at me again."

"What was that," she said, ignoring him. "You never did that before and you told me the earth power was used as a last resort."

"I do recall saying that, but this wasn't the earth power, this is alchemy. I shall have Al fill you in on it later if he agrees?" he questioned Al.

"Of course, Nii-san."

"Thank you, and sit, Val, you look like you're going to faint again."

She sat without argument and Ed continued his story, taking the other chair. "We fought this little war of ours, this secret war, and finally our side started to win. When the other side looked like it was about to fall, Mevolant called for one last, desperate strike, against all the leaders on our side. I went up against his right-hand man, Serpine, who had laid out a wickedly exquisite trap. I didn't suspect a thing until it was too late. So I died." Everyone, except Valkyrie, gasped in horror, Al looked like he was going to cry again. Armstrong had tears streaming down his face.

Who would have thought that such a macho man could be such a cry baby? "Edward Elric, you have such a sad story," he said, sobbing and crushing Ed in a hug.

Ed extracted himself from the hug and moved away. Suddenly he stopped and turned to Mustang. "Colonel, could you slick back your hair for a moment, I need to check something." he suddenly requested.

"Whatever, FullMetal," he said, slicking his hair back.

"Recognize him now," he asked Valkyrie, as if testing her. She jumped in surprise and conjured a flame in her hand.

"It's not Serpine, Val, he's dead. We already got our revenge for our families. Serpine and Mustang are two different people. The only thing they have in common is their looks, and possibly a hatred for me."

At the mention of 'revenging family', they were both being crushed in an Armstrong hug. He was bawling his eyes out again.

They extracted themselves once again and Al came forward, slightly confused. "Nii-san, what do you mean, 'revenge for your families.'? What family did you lose?" he questioned softly.

Valkyrie came to Ed's rescue, knowing it was a touchy subject. "Ed lost his wife and child. I lost my favorite uncle."

"I am sorry for your lose, Valkyrie-san," Al said, bowing his head.

Before Valkyrie could respond, however, there was a flash of light as it reflected off of something soaring through the air and then Ed was lying on the ground, rubbing his head. There was a wrench next to his foot. There was another flash and Valkyrie threw up a barrier of air against the onslaught of wrenches.

She turned, keeping the barrier up, to see who the assailant was and could only gape. The person in front of her was all too familiar. Remembering the Remnant inside of her, Val conjured another flame.

It was Tanith, dressed in a mini-skirt and tank top instead of her usual leather, but it was definitely her. 'Tanith' stopped her advance and retreated slightly. Valkyrie didn't relax.

Ed looked up at the sound of Valkyrie clicking her fingers to summon a flame. He looked up to see who the attacker was and rushed forward to console his partner. He didn't reach her, instead, he ran into the barrier she had put up.

"Valkyrie," he called, rapping his knuckles on the wall of air, "would you please relax and let us explain. Al, go to her and be prepared to create a barrier of your own."

Valkyrie snapped out of her trance and dropped both the barrier and the flame. All walked over to 'Tanith'.

"Who are those two ?" she asked gesturing to Ed and Val.

Deciding that Valkyrie wasn't going to attack Ed stepped forward. "This is my partner, Detective Valkyrie Cain. And I, well. You don't need my name." Ed said gesturing to Valkyrie, then shrugging.

"And why don't I need to know your name?" she questioned angrily, raising another wrench.

"Because," he said flinching, "you already know me. And you should recognize this," he explained, removing his shirt, revealing the metal arm once again.

She stood staring in shock. And then she burst into tears. Ed ran forward and Al pulled her into a hug. Ed tried to comfort her, and she switched and clung to him.

Valkyrie just stood there, unsure of what to do. Several minutes later, the girl calmed down enough to allow Ed to escape, but he didn't move far enough away as to abandon her where she stood.

"Valkyrie, I believe there is another set of introductions to be made. So could you come here please. She won't attack unless provoked. And she's not Tanith." Ed called over to the immobile Valkyrie.

She woke from another trance and walked over to the trio, but slowly as not to scare the poor girl. Once she had reached the group Ed continued. "Valkyrie, this is miss Winry Rockbell, my automail mechanic. She was a childhood friend of mine." Upon closer inspection, Valkyrie realized it really wasn't Tanith. Tanith was more muscular than this girl.

He then switched to Winry, "Winry, this is my partner, Valkyrie. She knows absolutely nothing of Alchemy."

This earned his a wrench to the head. But not from Winry. No, this wrench was from said partner, Valkyrie Cain. "And why would I need it to beat you. It never stopped me from beating you before."

"You never beat me before." he combated, rubbing his head.

"That would be because you couldn't die."

"Neither could you."

The crowd stared on in confusion. How could neither of them die? Were they Homunculi?

"This is getting us nowhere. How about we continue with our story unless there are other ideas?"


	5. Flame Vs. Metal: Take 2

"Actually, I think that's enough history for now, how about some sparing?" Ed suggested, breaking the confused silence.

"Yeah, sure Ed, you want to take Mustang first, to warm him up for a fight?"

"You scared of him? No need to be, he's about as difficult as Sanguine."

"Have we ever beat Sanguine?"

"Good point."

"Also, if I beat him first then you won't get a good fight out of him."

"Yes, that is true. Colonel Bastard, you up to a fight yet?"

"Your on, FullMetal. Like we did for the evaluation, at the parade grounds?"

"Of course, how is your hand from Bradley?" Ed asked as if he were worried about the dark-haired man.

"You'll see..., I need a new insult for you."

"Try dead man, described him in our world," Valkyrie suggested maliciously.

"Thanks, Val, that's useful." Mustang smiled flirtatiously.

"Yes, thank you, Valkyrie," Ed said glowering at her and punching Mustang in the gut. "And please don't flirt with someone half your age, Colonel Bastard

"Hey, be glad I didn't tell him what Finbar called you. Also, isn't that the name for your group in the war?"

"Fine," he grumbled good-naturedly. "Now to get to the fun bit. Everyone who wants to see a good fight, come to the parade grounds but stay around the edges, this will be a fight to remember." Ed announced to the surrounding crowd. "Mustang, come on. We have another fight after this."

"Shut up, FullMetal. I'm right next to you." Mustang grumbled.

"Good, now let's see if this will be as much fun as last time," Edward said, walking away, Valkyrie close in tow.

He dropped her off at the edge of an arena-like area. Telling her to watch and find his weakness. She appeared to ignore him. He continued to the center and stood facing Mustang as if waiting for something.

What they were waiting for was Hughes. Apparently, he was the commentator of the fight, he had the microphone. "Welcome to the much anticipated, though highly unexpected rematch between the hero of the Ishval War and the Hero of the people. The fight will start on my count, one, two," he turned tail and bolted to the edge of the crowd, "Three!" and the fight began. Mustang snapped his fingers and a small explosion of fire surrounded Ed. Ed, for his part, seemed unsurprised with a hand slightly raised to manipulate the oxygen away from him so as not to ignite his clothes. Mustang smirked, thinking that Ed had slipped in his years of absence. Ed then clapped and ran his flesh hand over the metal one. The metal transformed into a blade. Valkyrie gasped, not having known he could do that.

Al looked at her, concerned. "Is something wrong, Val?" he questioned.

"I never knew about the arm, let alone that it was a blade," Valkyrie replied, still staring at the fight.

"Val, the arm isn't the blade, the blade is an extension of his arm, look closely."

She did so and realized that there was still a hand under the blade. That he had just changed the backplate of his forearm into a blade by elongating it and narrowing it to a point.

Ed clapped again and created an elaborately carved canon. With another snap of Mustang's fingers, the cannon exploded and Ed was sent flying. The arena was obscured in a cloud of dust. All was silent for a few moments, then there was the flash of sunlight on metal and the sound of ripping fabric. Ed manipulated the air as to allow everyone to see the result, a triumphant looking Ed and mustang with a ripped glove. While Ed's back was turned, Mustang took his other hand out of his pocket, revealing it to also be gloved.

There was the click of fingers, instantly followed by the sound of a waterfall. Mustang stood there, arm raised to set something alight, soaked, and wide-eyed. Everyone laughed at the Colonel's Misfortune.

"Remember Colonel, you're useless when wet. Lucky for you, I can solve that problem." Ed said from behind him. Mustang snapped around in surprise. "Hold still, this should be painless." he continued, raising a hand to lift the water off of Mustang, forming a cloud above his head. He then moved the cloud away and released it above the head of Valkyrie, leaving her spluttering.

"Ed, was that really necessary?" she yelled angrily.

"Oh calm down, just dry yourself off. Colonel, see if your gloves are dry enough, now."

Mustang just did as he was told, too surprised to argue. A click of the fingers and a small explosion. "Seems your dry, Bastard."

At that moment a fireball impacted on his back, singeing a hole right in the center of his back. He whirled, clicking his fingers and conjuring a flame into his hand. "Valkyrie, why would you do that?" he questioned, and then he saw the lizard on her head. "Aw, yes," he said extinguishing the flame and putting his hands in his pockets, cocking his head slightly. "Valkyrie, did you realize there's a lizard on your head?"

Mustang walked over to her, picked the lizard off her head, and walked back the Ed. The lizard was a green creature with eight small feet and bulbous eyes with purple pupils. "Hey, Colonel Bastard, how would you feel if I came along and picked you up by the leg," the creature screeched in a whiny voice? Mustang loosened his grip slightly, as to let it crawl onto his hand without falling. "Thank you," it said without gratitude.

"FullMetal, I believe this belongs to you," Mustang said, extending the hand with the lizard on it.

"How does he belong to me," Ed said, taking the lizard.

"He's your family."

"That never stopped him from trying to kill me before," Ed grumbled. "Valkyrie, could you come here please," he called to her. Then to the lizard in his hand. "Envy, can you shift back to your usual cross-dressing palm tree form. It could be a little strange talking to a tiny lizard." Ed explained, setting him on the ground.

"Fine," and the lizard disappeared in a whirl of red sparks, to be replaced by a muscular teenager in black form-fitting body-suit with a matching headband keeping his green hair off his face, and failing slightly. He really did look like a cross-dressed palm tree. He was grinning maliciously as if planning something evil. "Welcome home, Edward Elric. We all have missed you." and then he hugged Ed. Ed, for his part, tried to stab Envy.

Envy avoided by performing a perfect handspring off Ed's head and landed on Valkyrie. "Oh, sorry," he said helping her up.

Edward froze, "You just apologized, Homonculi never apologize, except to Father."

"Yes, I apologized, Edward, I have become, well, almost human."

Ed stared in shock, "Mustang, why haven't you killed him yet?"

"I realized that revenge only leads to more and the Fuhrer should not be so tainted. I didn't want the country being run by a murdering psychopath again." Mustang chuckled.

"You tried didn't you?" Ed accused, grinning.

"Yes, he killed me a couple more times, then stopped and started crying."

"I thought you were dead, anyway, nonexistent, how are you here?"

"Apparently I have the power to take the form of dust. That is how I survived. I faked my death and returned after the fight against Father. I came back to find you and make sure you were safe. Or, at least, still alive."

"Ed, who is this, why did Mustang say he was 'family'?"

"Ah, the little lady's alive and well. Listen, I'm sorry about landing on you. You are okay right?"

"I've had worse. So who are you to Ed?"

"I am, what was, his half brother. And may I say that you have a lovely head for sitting upon."

"Ed, I like him, he kinda reminds me of Fletcher."

"A homicidal Fletcher" he muttered. "Envy, how many are left? Of the seven I mean."

"Only two, Me and Greed," it said, counting on his fingers.

"Make that three," came a voice from behind the trio. They all turned quickly and found a beautiful woman with hair the color of raven's wings, and eyes of the palest blue, with deep violet centers. The skirt she wore was a light green, and the jacket was of a green deeper than a thousand crushed emeralds. Her necklace was exquisite. She smiled as she approached closer. "Hello, dear, it's lovely to see you again." She said, hugging Valkyrie carefully, so as not to wrinkle her beautiful outfit.

"China?" Valkyrie asked in shock. At the same moment, Envy recognized her as well "Lust?"

"Yes, did you miss me," she said, stepping away from Valkyrie.

"Yes," Envy said, tackling her in a hug.

"Envy, careful of the clothes." the woman reminded it.

"Sorry, forgot how much you love your outfits." Envy said, releasing her.

"It's okay, Envy, it feels like I haven't seen you in a century," she said, smiling at him in a sisterly way.

"Its been three years. . ."

"I have an idea." Ed cut in, "how about you two go catch up and Valkyrie beats the crap out of Armstrong?"

"One question before we go then, which one is Armstrong?" Lust asked, linking her arm with Envy's.

Ed gestured vaguely toward him, walking away to smooth over the destroyed arena.

Nodding, she walked toward the man, to wish him luck and say how sorry she was for the pain that was about to be inflicted upon him.


	6. Strong Arm Vs. Shadow

After the arena had been cleared and smoothed back to its original form, Valkyrie walked forward to face her opponent, Major Alex Louis Armstrong.

"Ed, quick question before the fight starts, what do I have for attacks." Val quickly shot.

"Anything you want, don't hold back. Just don't kill him." Ed replied.

"Got it" And she was ready. She slipped on her ring, just as a precaution. Armstrong's shirt disappeared again. Hughes gave the same set of rules as with the first fight, then the fight began.

Armstrong made the first move, punching the ground and transmuting stone missiles, which were sent flying towards her. She responded by pushing at the air and rising off the ground and hovering above the projectiles.

She touched down again and ran toward him, pushing at the air in an attempt to unbalance him. He faltered a step but stayed where he was. He sent another set of missiles. She didn't bother to avoid these. She just sent up a wall of shadows. The stones smashed on impact, not affecting her in the slightest. She sent a wave of shadows crashing over him and suddenly she was surrounded by people. Hawkeye had her gun aimed at Valkyrie's head, Mustang was ready to set her alight, Hughes had a throwing knife in his hand, Ling was becoming Greed, Winry was holding a wrench, and Ed was pushing his way through the crowd to her side.

"Edward Elric, stay away from her, she's pride," Armstrong shouted at Ed as he reached her side.

"How do you figure that, Armstrong?" Ed questioned as he stood protectively next to her.

"The manipulation of shadows, Nii-san. She is him, she has to be." Al responded.

"The shadows are enough to condemn her, is it? Why not allow her to explain. If you don't trust her word, then you can trust that of mine. And if any of you still decide to attack her, I will not be forgiving to anyone, so be warned." Ed's voice was a growl by the end, leaving no one in doubt of his words.

Everyone backed off and put away their weapons ad settled into more relaxed positions, though still ready if need be.

"Can you do this without the armor?" Val questioned and noticed Al stiffen.

"Haven't the foggiest, but to be safe, take this," Ed replied, handing her his gun. "Also, can I borrow your ring for this, to not have to call _him_?"

"Yeah," she said, removing the ring and placing it in his hand. "If you do go crazy, how much goodwill this little gun do against him?"

"Not much, but it could help," was the reply as he slipped the ring onto his finger.

She could instantly tell that something was wrong. Darkness covered him and hardened to form a black armor. This armor was different than before, however. There was a ring of spikes on each shoulder, a long tail of white hair on the helmet, and a spike on the forehead. Everyone took a step back and Valkyrie raised the gun.

"Valkyrie, I'm fine, he didn't take over, I'm still me," he said removing the helmet and revealing no skin, no eyes, just a gleaming white skull. There were some gasps and a few screams. "Ed, were you wearing the facade the whole time?" Valkyrie asked calmly.

"No, why?" his voice questioned.

"You're a skeleton again."

"Am I really?"

"Yes, put the helmet back on before you give anyone a heart attack." she quietly ordered him.

He quickly did, then removed it again, revealing the face of Edward Elric again.

"Good, you're back. Now let's act like that was all expected. Now, shall we explain ourselves and possibly save my life?"

"Yes, of course." he turned to the crowd, "who believes, right now, that one of us is the sin 'Pride'? Show by raise of hand,"

Half the people raised their hands.

This seemed to surprise Ed. "All those who don't, why?"

"The armor," Al responded quickly. "It's identical to mine. If you were Pride, you wouldn't be using my armor. As for her, she's with you and you wouldn't stay with people who kills for the fun of it."

Valkyrie shuddered, Darquesse laughed manically, no one noticed.

"The armor isn't identical to yours Al, it is yours. When I gave my alchemy to get you back from the gate, truth decided that I was needed on the other side, and so, instead of giving me back my alchemy, he gave me your armor, and told me that you had your body back. He then sent me to Germany, where the story started."

"That's what happened to the armor, I was wondering," Al said, smiling. "Keeping it as a remembrance. But what have you done to it, it looks different."

"It is, though not by much, actually, it's a lot different. In our world" he gestured to himself and Val, "there was a woman who dealt exclusively with symbols, China Sorrows. With her help, I transmuted the armor into shadows that could be carried easily inside my skeleton."

"Skeleton?" Al asked.

"Yes, I was in a war in her world and I joined. For years we fought and eventually, I made a mistake that cost me my life. After my death, my body was stuck on a pike and burned it for all to see. Next thing I knew I woke up, a bag of bones. Literally. They had gathered up my bones and put them in a bag and thrown the bag into a river. So that was a marvelous new experience right there."

"Then what happened?"

"I put myself back together, which was rather painful, then climbed out of the river and rejoined the fight."


End file.
